Thursday, June 9, 2011

just a thought

i am so tired these days
some days i feel like blowing my head off so i could rest, forever
no, not suicidal, just rrreally tired

kidding, i'm fine.

see, im turning into emo bitch the second i touched my blog
well, maybe i am.
an emo blogger
godd, the name itself sounds hideous

seriously, what's wrong with wanted to have it all
i want to be bad, real bad,
without judgment
i want to be good, great even
without getting an even higher expectations

for once,
i don't want to feel like im pushing myself too hard
yet, i get the satisfaction
and without being guilty to feel satisfied

sometimes i made myself believe
that i get a gift to make things sounds so complicated
i swear.

born to friends

having a sister is like having a best friend you can't get rid of.
you know whatever you do, they'll still be there.
there's no relationships quite like sisters
i mean, you can always kid the world, but never your sister.

Monday, June 6, 2011

when words fall, music speaks [4]

there's a fire starting in my heart
reaching a fever pitch and its bringing me out the dark
the scars of your love remind me of us
they keep me thinking that we almost had it all
the scars of your love they leave me breathless
i can't help feeling
we could have had it all
rolling in the deep
you had my heart inside your hand
but you played it to the beat.

Monday, March 28, 2011

when words fall, music speaks [3]

You're better then the best
i'm lucky just to linger in your light
cooler then the flip side of my pillow that's right
completely unaware
nothing can compare to where you send me
lets me know that it's ok
and the moments where my good times start to fade

you make me smile like the sun
fall out of bed
sing like a bird
dizzy in my head
spin like a record
crazy on a sunday night
you make me dance like a fool
forget how to breathe
shine like gold
buzz like a bee
just the thought of you can drive me wild
ohh you make me smile

even when you're gone
somehow you came along
just like a flower poking through the sidewalk crack and just like that
you steal away the rain and just like that

don't know how i lived without you
'cause every time that i get around you
i see the best of me inside your eyes
you make me smile...
Uncle Kracker - Smile

the truth is... [8]

 I've never fooled anyone.
I've let people fool themselves. 

They didn't bother to find out who and what I really was.
Instead they would invent a character for me.

I wouldn't argue with them.
They were obviously loving somebody I wasn't.

When they found this out,
they would blame me for disillusioning them and fooling them.

This is how foolish people can be... most of the time.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

i'm in love with Midori

Here i am, nearly 24 hours after i finished reading Haruki Murakami's Norwegian Wood, yet the feelings that the book brought upon me still linger in me. This book got the best characters, my ultimate favorite is Midori Kobayashi. She got this honest, radiant, smart, lively, realistic, straight forward, unpredictable personality that just blow my mind. How the author speak through the main character is really poetic, detailed and beautiful. Hands down, Murakami got a one big brilliant mind!

"I'm writing this latter to you while you're off buying drinks.
This it the first time in my life i've ever written a letter to
somebody sitting next to me on a bench, but i feel it's the
only way i can get through to you. I mean, you're hardly listening
to anything i say. Am i right?

Do you realize you did something terrible to me today?
You never even noticed that my hairstyle had changed, did
you? I've been working on it forever, trying to grow it out, and
finally, at the end of last week, i managed to get it into a style
you could actually call girlish, but you never even noticed. It
was looking pretty good, so i figured i'd give you a little shock
when you saw me for the first time after such a long time, but
it didn't even register with you. Don't you think that's awful?
I'll bet you can't even remember what i was wearing today.
Hey, i'm a girl! So what if you've got something on your
mind? You can spare me one decent look! All you had to say
was "Cute hair," and i would have been able to forgive you for
being sunk in a million thoughts, but no!

Which is why i'm going to tell you a lie. It's not true that i
have to meet my sister in the Ginza. I was planning to spend
the night at your place. I even brought my pajamas with me.
It's true. I've got my pajamas and a toothbrush in my bag. I
must be an idiot! I mean, you never even invited me over to
see your new place. Oh well, what the hell, you obviously
want to be alone, so i'll leave you alone. Go ahead and think
away to your heart's content!

But don't get me wrong. I'm not totally mad at you. I'm
just sad. You were so nice to me when i was having my problems,
but now that you're having yours, it seems there's not a
thing i can do for you. You're all locked up in that little world
of yours, and when i try knocking on the door, you just sort of
look up for a second and go right back inside.

So now i see you coming back with our drinks -- walking
and thinking. I was hoping you'd trip, but you didn't. Now
you're sitting next to me chugging down your cola. I was holding
out one last hope that you'd notice and say, "Hey, your
hair's changed!" but no go. If you had, i would have ripped
this letter up and said, "Let's go to your place. I'll make you a
nice supper. And afterward we can get in bed and cuddle."
But you're about as sensitive as a steel plate. Good-bye.

PS: Please don't talk to me next time we meet in class."

This might sounds a little bit selfish for some people. But i'd say, this is a true feelings of a girl. A hundred percent honesty, which some girls might find it hard to express. Midori always finds her way to say what she thinks and what she feels in her unique way. You'll find yourself somehow envy her free spirit personality.
What's awe me more is how the author describe this kind of woman feelings in such effortless way that it came out so naturally.

" [Midori] So i made up my mind I was going to find someone who would love me
unconditionally three hundred and sixty-five days a year.

[Toru] Wow, and did your search pay off?

[Midori] That's the hard part. I guess I've been waiting so long I'm looking for perfection.
That makes it tough.

[Toru] Waiting for perfect love?

[Midori] No, even i know better than that. I'm looking for selfishness. Like, say i tell you i want
to eat strawberry shortcake. And you stop everything you're doing and run out and buy it for me.
And you come back out of breath and get down on your knees and hold this strawberry shortcake
out to me. And i say i don't want it anymore and throw it out the window. That's what i'm looking for."

Thursday, March 10, 2011

those days under the sun

lately i've been daydreaming about sunshine, blue sky, sand, water... yes, i desperately miss the beach!
then i started to reminiscing about my vacation a year ago, and feel like sharing the pictures here.
ahh, how i wish i were on the beach right now...

here we go!!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

what are you going to do with your life?

In one way or another it seemed that people had been asking her this forever; teachers, her parents, friends at three in the morning, 

but the question had never seemed this pressing and still she was no nearer an answer... 

"Live each day as if it's your last', that was the conventional advice, 

but really, who had the energy for that? 

What if it rained or you felt a bit glandy?
It just wasn't practical. 

Better by far to be good and courageous and bold and to make difference. 

Not change the world exactly, 
but the bit around you. 

Cherish your friends, 

stay true to your principles, 

live passionately and fully and well. 

Experience new things. 

Love and be loved.... if you ever get the chance.

~One Day

Monday, March 7, 2011

I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil.

"When it comes down to it, I let them think what they want.
If they care enough to bother with what I do,
than I'm already better than them."
~Marilyn Monroe

let me tell you what to do with your life

This is your life. Do what you love, and do it often.
If you don't like something, change it.
If you don't like your job, quit.
If you don't have enough time, stop watching TV.
If you are looking for the love of your life, stop; they will be waiting for you when you start doing things you love. Stop over analyzing, life is simple.
All emotions are beautiful.
Open your mind, arms, and heart to new things and people, we are united in our differences.
Travel often; getting lost will help you find yourself.
Some opportunities only come once, seize them.
Life is about the people you meet, and the things you create with them, so go out and start creating.
Life is short.

Live your dream, and wear your passion.

Jay'ed - Cry For You

Despite of the cheesy love story in this video, i still love the song.
It's kinda relate to me in some way...
ha, i can't believe i've just said that.
Mr. Jay'ed, your songs are LOVE

Saturday, March 5, 2011

don't get me wrong

i want lust
i want fire
i want mess
i want chaos
i want madness
i want heat
i want passion

i want it all

the best day of your life is...

The one on which you decide your life is your own
no apologies or excuses
no one to lean on, rely on, or blame
the gift is yours -it is an amazing journey-
and you alone are responsible for the quality of it

this is the day your life really begins.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

delusional love song


just when i thought i've found it, something that would complete the pieces

yet, it felt like i lost even more

did my expectation betrayed me?

this is not what i signed up for

definitely not desertedness in companionship

not desolation in happiness

no, not this.


the truth is... [6]

I always feel this pressure of being a strong and independent icon of womanhood,
and without making it look like my whole life is revolving around some guy.
But loving someone, and being loved means so much to me.
We always make fun of it and stuff.
But isn't everything we do in life a way to be loved a little more?

~Celine "Before Sunrise"

Saturday, February 26, 2011

city life: millions of people being lonesome together

"here in these city lights
girl could get lost tonight
i'm finding every reason to be gone
nothing here to hold on to..
could i hold you?"

Saturday, February 19, 2011

i wish you enough [reblog]

" I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.
I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final goo-bye."

Reblog from: PauloCoelhoBlog

let me tell you something really subversive

Have you ever been in love? horrible isn't it??
It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...
You give them a piece of you. They didn't even ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you.
The truth is, love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, You risk even more.

"The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in..."

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

not so lame valentine day

See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you,
and once in a while people may even take your breath away...

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

keeping my fire

Sometimes we're forced to forget our desires, what we want, our dreams.

"Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swaps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. it exists.. it is real.. it is possible.. it's yours."